An enlightening conversation on love

From my personal diary, dated Thursday, March 02, 2006

Today I had quite an enlightening conversation with my friend and colleague whom I started working together with recently.

In my previous postings I mentioned that love is not merely an emotion or feeling, but a journey undertaken by two mature people who are secure in their own power, who are able to complement and add to each other’s life and work.

My colleague pointed out a slightly different dimension to our concept of love --- a view that gels very nicely what I’ve been reading from C.S. Lewis’ book Mere Christianity. To be sure, the initial emotions of infatuation, romantic desire and sexual interest will eventually fade with the passage of time, no matter how strong they once were. Even physical beauty always succumbs to time’s relentless arrow. Like shifting sands that come and go with the tides, these merely transient attributes will never form the basis of a wholesome and lasting relationship.

Instead lifelong unions and romantic partnerships are always held together by the Will. The couple must decide to be with each other permanently, through thick and thin, joy and sorrow. They must hold their relationship, their union, firmly together by their will and resolve. It is only through this deep commitment and perseverance that their relationship will stand up to the test of time. Their partnership must be founded on the power within translated to the power without.

In the book Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis writes that the sexual passions and instincts must eventually be let go off and a higher purpose embraced. The dying away of the initial thrill will be compensated for by a quieter and more lasting kind of interest. And it is precisely those individuals who are ready to let go off the steamy infatuations and excitements and settle down for the more sober work of putting together a mature and responsible partnership who are most likely to find new joys and thrills.

Love is a choice, not merely a feeling. It is a journey, not merely a collection of promises made in the heat of passion. Indeed, to experience true love, one must learn to let go of that which is fleeting and transient, and embrace the higher infinite.